Monday, May 13, 2013

Statistics on statisticians.

This post has absolutely nothing to do with CAKES or cakes.  The closest it gets is fried bananas on ice cream.

Last night, I had the pleasure of dining with some professors, GSIs, and fellow readers in the Statistics department.  I learned some things.

100% of instructors know the names of at least 10% of their students.  This familiarity is a good thing only 50% of the time.

Food that is not on the menu tastes approximately 70% more delicious than food that can be ordered off the menu.

Students cheat on exams.  If you, dear reader, are a student, please do not cheat on your exams. It undermines the integrity of academia and society.  Spend your time studying rather than concocting a clever plan to succeed dishonestly. Your future employers, advisers, and spouses will appreciate a mediocre mark in one of your courses 1000% more than an expulsion.

Very few students die or have mental breakdowns during exams. But it happens. Please take care of your physical and mental health!

-E

Note: Statistics reported in this posting are observational in nature.  For more accurate data, please conduct your own properly-planned, randomized, controlled experiment.  For more details on how to develop such an experiment, pay attention in your statistics course.

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